The 12 Days of Orange Man
“Eight fundraisers a-milking…”
Last night @RobGeorge posted that accusations against the 45th president include everything but a partridge in a pear tree.
Let’s correct that oversight!
The 12 Days of Orange Man
On the first day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
A prosecutor in a tree
It’s Santa because I could not stand using a photo of Trump.
On the second day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the third day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the fourth day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the fifth day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the sixth day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
6 lackies a-lying
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the seventh day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
7 stooges swimming
6 lackies a-lying
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the eighth day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
8 fundraisers a-milking
7 stooges swimming
6 lackies a-lying
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the ninth day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
9 ladies cringing
8 fundraisers a-milking
7 stooges swimming
6 lackies a-lying
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the tenth day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
10 Tweets a-leaping (OK, Elon, OK: “10 xeets a-leaping”)
9 ladies cringing
8 fundraisers a-milking
7 stooges swimming
6 lackies a-lying
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the eleventh day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
11,780 Georgia votes
10 Xeets a-leaping
9 ladies cringing
8 fundraisers milking
7 stooges a-swimming
6 lackies a-lying
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
On the twelfth day of meltdown, the Orange Man gave to me:
12-count indictment
11,780 Georgia votes
10 Xeets a-leaping
9 ladies cringing
8 fundraisers a-milking
7 stooges swimming
6 lackies a-lying
5 stolen docs
4 beautiful phone calls
3 French models
2 Diet Cokes
And a prosecutor in a tree
I can’t sing, so there is no risk of my turning this into a TikTok.
Merry meltdown!
About All Predictions Wrong
Today’s post is for everyone. Going forward this space will be mostly paid-only.
Tuesday Morning Quarterback returns on September 5, and will be paid-only, weekly through that Super Bowl thing you might have heard about.
Once TMQ begins, there will also be a weekly All Predictions Wrong on some topic other than sports. I am conscious many people don’t like football, often with good reason. When NFL season ends, All Predictions Wrong will return to the topics mix used so far.
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Yes, Trump is a liar - so were LBJ, Nixon, Clinton, Obama and Biden. Yes, he is an unlikable human being - so were LBJ, Nixon and Biden. Yes, he has delusions of kinghood - so did Obama and Biden. Yes, he is a narcissistic camera hog - so were ... pretty much everybody in politics. Yes, he frequently puts his own desires ahead of he country's - see last point above. Yes - he sends out mean tweets - OK, that's his alone. His accomplishments (and there were some) are ignored. Biden's accomplishments (of which there are few) are lionized. What I can't understand, and which is never explained, (except with hyperbolic catch phrases), is the unique level of hatred he seems to engender. Where does that come from?
This is a very funny post. Can almost see the Biden version of "All I want for Christmas" being penned as I type this.